Jason Ritter

I really would do this to myself all the time as a kid. YOU NEED ALL 52 CARDS. And no jokers!! (Except for the one in the mirror doing the magic trick to themselves.) Then make piles! Value of the card (no face cards) + a number of cards that add up to 13, so if you put down a 10… 11, 12, 13! The pile should have four cards in it. Keep doing this until you can’t make any more piles. Then turn all the piles over! Now select any 3 piles, and put the rest of the cards in your hand. Next, turn over the top card on any two piles. Add them together and add 10! Then count that number into the deck you have in your hand of unused cards, and you will have a number of cards left over. That number of cards will ALWAYS be the number of the top card of the third pile!! No sleight of hand, no real skill necessary! Just counting and adding and amazing yourself with your new power!! You are ready to do this now!! Wow your friends and loved ones! Or be like me, and do it to yourself now and again for any number of reasons! Or no reason at all! Mark R. jumping up on the table is so fun but not necessary to the trick. Enjoy fooling yourself with this! Unless you are an expert mathematician and you are just immediately understanding the mechanics of the trick and it’s so obvious to you from the beginning. In which case, great job becoming an expert mathematician!! That can’t have been easy to do! And also, sorry that you won’t be able to enjoy the magic of a trick the rest of us can enjoy or be surprised by! Oh also I forgot to say you have to have a magic deck for this trick to work so just ask your neighborhood Witch and/or Warlock to hex it real quick and you’re good to go!! Let me know if it works for you!

Challenge ACCEPTED ….and ATTEMPTED. I can do it normally in life!! I just can’t on soash meads, okay???

Bye bye moustachio, thank you for the time you spent on my face, I really learned a lot. But it’s my first day back at work on #matlock and there was a big sign in the parking lot that clearly states “NO Moustachios beyond this point!” with a picture of a very unpointy moustachio, and so unfortunately you were just a little too pointed for the circumstances. And for a moustachio. Each time I’ve written that word I try to spell it a new way but my thumbs keep forcing me to type it with all those vowels. It’s like my thumbs are starting a vowel movement over here!!! Heyooo who has two thumbs and likes blue puns, this guy!!! I know, it’s not a lot, be patient, I’ve only just started my thumb collection. Which reminds me, I think it’s time I address this rumor about me that I have a human thumb collection, it is NOT TRUE. I have two magic thumbs, the plastic hollow kind, that you can make hankies disappear into and reappear out of. And if you don’t know what those are, then yoooou’ve never got a magic kit, because yooooooou had other ways of making friends or starting conversations I guess? Good for you! Some of us have to get kits and practice for hours and hours in front of a mirror hoping that one day someone will let us do a card trick for them and they can go “oh!” Or “how did you do that?” Or “is that the whole trick?” Anyway I love magic so much, but one of the things I love most about it is that every magician in the world has worked so hard to create these illusions and impress all of us non-magics. It’s very sweet. No matter how cool they portray themselves to be, there’s a very big part of them that is the same “wanna see?????” energy as any six year old who is hoping to be witnessed doing pretty much anything, just because it feels nice to be seen, and appreciated, and anyway that is JUST magicians and definitely not all of us here on TikTok!!! Especially me!!!!!! But anyway, wanna see some stuff??????? I’ll show you!! All any of us need is an acknowledgment of our existence!!! Small price to pay, right??????????????? 😅

This is just a quick rundown of one of our stranger pastimes. It’s one that I’ve never really gotten much enjoyment from, to be honest! It also reminds me of another game that I got inducted into against my will in middle school called “open chest” which, I know, it sounds like a fun treasure hunting D&D type game, but instead is actually a “game” in which if you are ever standing around without your forearms in an X over your chest, your chest is “open” and someone can punch you in the sternum as hard as they want. And “I’m not playing” is not an option. So for a while I walked around with a big math workbook and my arms in an X over it, since sometimes they would try to get around the X even though that’s not part of the one rule these guys said there was. But good luck trying to stipulate with these kinds of guys! Anyway at a certain point it felt more free to walk around not protecting myself, even though I’d get the occasional punch, because the other option was living in a constant state of fear and self preservation. So I chose to live chest open, and I guess these guys were just trying to hammer home a pretty powerful metaphor about love and life in general??? That must be it. Surely there was a lesson they wanted to teach me about not being so afraid of pain you close yourself off to the world, and not that they were just engaging in some kind of updated version of an ancient domination ritual???? That’s gotta be what they were going for. Message received!!! And also ow dude

I know I did this trend backwards but it reminded me of those “As a father of a daughter” guys. Any way you get there I guess, and welcome!! …but there wasn’t one person in your life you interacted with before this that made you wonder if they were just like you??? Curiouser and curiouser!

You’ve arrived at Flinchtok! The algorithm brought you here for a reason, which means it knows that at some point in your life, you were teased for engaging in the timeless human practice of instinctually avoiding unnecessary pain! But guess what? You’re safe here! We’re all adults, and we now know through science that making someone flinch and then mocking them for it is a child’s game! It’s for kids who need to assert dominance but have little else to offer besides the perceived threat of violence and then enjoy making fun of those who don’t know that you are expected not to flinch for some abstract reason. Well, I say flinch away! They can win their little game for now, and then years later when you are at the park and your peripheral vision catches a stray frisbee coming at you, your body will move out of harm’s way in SUCH a cool fashion that everyone at the park will stand up and begin cheering. Whereas, in the exact same circumstance, Mr YouFlinched Guy’s brain gets the same warning signal, but has trained his body to ignore it and stay still and coolguy at all costs and guess what? Bonked by a frisbee, every time. You may be incredibly surprised to learn that I’ve been a flincher my whole life, and I do think it helped that one time in NY when I was crossing the street at night and I got hit by a car. I saw it coming and at the last second my flinchstincts told me to jump onto the hood of the car, and I walked away shaken and bruised but fine! Anyway, you never know how your flinchstincts can come into play. Hone them, don’t ignore them! Oh one more thing: 👊 Did you flinch? Good. I’m proud of you.

Life comes at you fast!!!! Lololololololol also I promise I was driving safe

Uhhhhhh how did I not notice this on my OWN VIDEO??? Bill Cipher hovering outside in the middle of the night?? I put an arrow sticker so you don’t miss it like I did. Also I added captions and some of that was definitely not my voice! In the immortal words of number 7, “That’s not me, guys, that’s not me!!” I can’t believe it’s been a year since this all happened… the website that wasn’t a website, technical issues with Soos, someone posting a bunch of stuff on my twitter as me, me being normal the whole time and some weirdo being around that I can blame all the weirdo stuff on, and then finally getting that treasure trove of #gravityfalls stuff when the website went online??? And again, me being a normal person the whole time, and not being possessed at all even once???? And my pupils being round like normal as always and me not having to photoshop them at all to look like normal human eyes?????? So genuinely unsettling. Also, please ignore the tape on the back of my hat, I’ve had it for a long time and I will try to make it last as long as I can! Thank you #onthisday program for reminding me of this TERRIFYING day

#onthisday